Another Birthday Poem


9/11 
three o:clock
huge belly bursting
(dad parked the car while)
I pressed on my BIGNESS

I walked alone into a room of green
to a man afraid afraid of my BIGNESS
he said 'lay on your side'
& stuck a needle in my spine

I was not afraid but did not
see how you were to come out
any other way than 
with a knife

they strapped my arms
out
like Jesus
sliced open the skin
above my pubic bone
pushed & lifted you out
shot me full of pitocin to
stop my death
so much noise and business
blood flowed in liters
for a such a BIG birth

(dad said his prayer things
from the doorway)

meanwhile
they held you to
my face for  
a kiss I knew:

you were everything GOOD

(and would be very bald for a long time)

Now, taller than I
you still curl against me
sometimes

Another birthday day
Another year
Another year of remembrance
Of the many deaths and the day
that began mine